So, one of my goals for this year is in essence to touch grass more. What that actually means is that I want to be in more situations where I forget my phone exists and I am enjoying nature. I am getting my steps in, and taking in natural beauty. I want to work on my cardio, and preferably doing it outside in fresh air. So, this led to my friend and I climbing Snowdon…well almost. That is not to say we didn’t climb it, we did. We just didn’t get to the peak, and that was on me. I turned us back around for reasons I will shortly get into.
As previously mentioned, on my journey of health and fitness, I have finally started to address my lack of mobility and stamina. Now, I personally think I have made great strides in this over the last year. However, that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is how I wanted to tackle a mountain climb. Bear in mind this was like my second hike ever, with the first one like three days before climbing Snowdon. My friend, the mad man that he is, also wanted us to go up the Rhyd Ddu Path instead of the path that everyone usually starts with (Llanberis Path), and I for some absurd reason…didn’t talk him out of it. I truly underestimated the climb for sure.
We geared up and kitted up as best as one can do for a hike so we were adequately resourced. We had plenty of food, a med kit, appropriately dressed, and more. As we climbed up we got to take in some of the most picturesque views I have ever seen. The scenery was truly breathtaking. We were greeted with so many sheep along the lower paths, but they kept their distance. As we got further up, the incline still wasn’t too bad. I thought, this might not be so bad at all, all this extra cardio in the gym and swimming has paid off. I could do this. I soon quickly ate my words. As we got up to maybe the 30% mark, that is when the path pretty much all but disappeared. There was no clear path anymore, it was just us against the elements. It had rained recently too so the mountain streams were filled plenty, leaving the surrounding areas almost in a marsh-like state. I truly had to watch my step, because if I didn’t I was sinking down into the mud. (I actually got swallowed by the ground for a bit and lost my shoe. Oh I was bloody raging. The mud was like quick sand. I pulled with all my might to get my boot out and it would not come out. Eventually we had to dig it out and use the leverage of a large stone to finally unearth it). The wind was also pretty relentless. The wind was roaring so loud, my friend couldn’t make out things I was saying as he stood right next to me. We had to yell at each other. He thought it was raining actually at one point, when in reality, the wind was so powerful, it was blowing some of the water streams up and over the edge of rocks. We had to cross over streams made up of rocks and had to watch our step as of course, the water made the rocks slippery. There was moss and ice that we had to avoid as well. One wrong step would have led to a very painful and awkward tumble downhill.
Eventually, the only way up was to do a near vertical ascent that required getting on my hands and knees and crawling up. We couldn’t figure out where to go so we just climbed. From where we were, we thought the white on the side of Snowdon was marble, but no, once we got high enough, we realised that this was indeed a mountain of ice and snow. We could have had a snowball fight in early April if we wanted to. After bumping into a few people, (some individuals brought their teen kids on this path and had to turn back, another couple brought up their dog), we reached the final gate and got to the 85% mark. I could see it, the peak. We were in the final stretch. We really were so damn close to the peak. To conquer Snowdon and the elements, but I could feel my body giving up. I looked at how high we were already, close to the edge, and realised, it really is just us against nature up here. There was no shelter to rest where we were. No safety or solitude from the unrelenting wind, and no safety net to catch us. That was it. If I slipped or twisted something, I could seriously injure myself and need mountain rescue. I looked at the peak, and when the peak looked back, I panicked and blinked.
I turned away. I said, let’s head back down and call it a day. Once I got to the bottom, I was so angry at myself. I regretted turning back. We really were so close to making it, and I turned back out of overwhelming fear.
What I’ve learnt from this experience
Part of me is still beating myself up for turning back when I did. It felt like everything I accomplished on the way up was made null because I didn’t make it to the top. When in reality it is a matter of perspective. Everything I did on the climb up, and back down, contributed to something. I got to see great views, make great progress, and just because I didn’t make it till the end, doesn’t mean it was an automatic failure. I tried, and not everyone has the courage to do so.
This doesn’t have to be just about climbing a literal mountain, it can also be metaphorical. Trying in of itself, is an act of defiance and bravery in a world where many are too scared of failing to even make the first step. I’d rather stand close to the top, than to have never climbed at all. Also, there is the fact that “tomorrow is another day”. Just because I didn’t make it to the top then, doesn’t mean I can’t make it eventually. There is no point in myself replaying my regret and anger, but instead, focusing on how far I made it my very first try, and the fact that I did try. Maybe I’ll get a similar opportunity one day, and “redeem” myself, or maybe not. However, what I can do now is carry with me the lessons I have learnt from falling short of this goal.
I also wish I took the time to just enjoy the journey a bit more. I was so focused on making it to the top and getting it over and done with, I didn’t spend enough time just taking in the views. I wish I spent more time just relaxing and taking in my surroundings. I didn’t want to relax and sit down, I just wanted to get to the top. I feel like I missed out on taking it all in more. It is not every day one visits North Wales and climbs Snowdon, well, unless you live in North Wales and regularly visit Snowdon. You get my point though. With a focus on getting to the end, I missed everything in the middle. The sights were wonderful, the natural beauty left me in awe, in which photos simply could not do the area justice. I was climbing a MOUNTAIN! I should have just slowed down, relaxed a little, and enjoyed the moment.
Again, I feel like this doesn’t have to be specific to climbing a mountain, but any journey we take in life. Too often, we all want to get somewhere else in such a hurry. The cliché saying “stop and smell the roses” is very true, and is probably why it is such a cliché, because it stands the test of time for applicability. We race from one place to another in search of something, whether it is accomplishment, riches, reputation, or whatever else we crave to change in our lives. When we finally get there, we look back at all the small moments that we missed on the way. All the opportunities to detour or share moments with people around us as we are too hell bent on getting to that peak. It is even more frustrating when we can’t make it to the peak and we miss all those small moments for nothing. Maybe, taking in those small moments to rest and enjoy could have helped us go even further instead of burning out.
Now my dear reader…
…whether you end up climbing a mountain one day, either physically and metaphorically, I hope that this post can assist. It is okay to take a break and rest, it is okay to stop and try again when you are ready and try a different path, it is okay to stop and smell the roses. Most importantly, it is okay to fail. Failure doesn’t mean the end. Where there is life, there is hope as my mother often likes to say when things go wrong. Maybe one day I’ll retry Snowdon when I am better physically and mentally equipped. Maybe I will climb higher heights and go further than I can currently imagine. However, this experience has certainly given me a lot to consider. For one thing, whenever I am scared to move forward now or to try something new whilst feeling underequipped, I will remind myself of one thing. I climbed a mountain…well almost, so I can survive this too.
The Life Of Lazlo 
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