The Life Of Lazlo

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For context and background

If you have ever been on a solo holiday before, then you’ll be able to relate to the euphoria it can bring. If you have never been on a solo holiday before, then give me a few minutes of your time and maybe I can convince you to try one…or at the very least take baby steps towards one.

Let’s start with a little background on me and maybe you can relate a bit. I am an individual who does deal with mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. I consider myself an adventurous individual who loves food, travel, and new experiences. I recently graduated with my master’s in law, but I came to the realisation I desperately needed a career change. I did not want to be a lawyer, and I b was stuck in a rut with my current job role at the time. I was still dealing with the emotional fallout of a break-up a few months before when I took this trip and coming to terms with being alone/dealing with loneliness. As you can gather, I wasn’t exactly on a high when I took this trip and to be honest, I almost decided against going (even after I paid for everything) because my anxiety tried talking me out of it. Pesky anxiety! As I have gotten deeper into my twenties, I have started to spend more time doing things solo which includes eating out, going to concerts and gigs, and finally, you guessed it travelling abroad. When I took this trip, I was 24 and I had never done a proper solo trip before. (For the sake of sheer honesty, I had travelled alone before when I was 22, however, I stayed at a hotel and didn’t try to interact with people on my brief two nights away.  This time was a little different, well very different actually.)

It was five nights in a hostel, sharing a room with around 7 other strangers in Naples (a city I had never visited before). I was very nervous for two reasons. 1) It was five nights alone in a new city, far away from home. So, if I needed assistance the locals weren’t always guaranteed to speak English and I had no one else to particularly rely on or fix a problem for me. 2) If you are a person of colour you may be more aware that Italy does experience a xenophobia and racism problem, and to be honest many parts of the world seem to have a xenophobia and racism problem (often, strongly against black people specifically). I am aware wherever I go, the first thing everyone will see and judge about me is my skin. I am a black man, first and foremost. I cannot take off or change my skin tone (nor would I, just to make that clear). So, I had to mentally prepare in case I do run into any form of racism whether subtle or blatant. However, I did push past these reasons to take this trip still. Some black people believe why go anywhere that black people are reportedly not welcome and give them your money? To that, I say, if every black person took that opinion, then a lot of us could ever leave our ethnic origin countries nor buy anything from numerous companies (no such thing as ethical consumption under capitalism and all that jazz). I could say the UK has a racism and xenophobia problem as I have also experienced racism just walking to a bus stop to be greeted with racial slurs written all over it. This world should not be made for only racists to enjoy, this world is for everyone to enjoy. I do not subscribe to the ideology that because I am from somewhere I am owed it exclusively, and I cannot stand those who do maintain this ideology. This is why I will still travel to these places. Now this isn’t to say that I am not cautious or behave differently when a country is reportedly unfriendly to those with darker skin tones to avoid standing out because I do. I usually paint my nails and I like to wear bright colours occasionally, but I thought it best not for this occasion. I am also a man, so I will benefit from patriarchy, so my experiences cannot be fairly compared to that of black women.

Travelling solo

Now that the background and context have been filled in, let us get into the trip itself. I am an individual who LOVES to plan. I do not like surprises, and I like to be thorough. I planned the majority of what I was going to do before even stepping foot in Naples. Activities included exploring the catacombs, a pizza cooking class, visiting Pompeii and hiking up Vesuvius, and a tour of the Amalfi Coast. I booked all of these through Get Your Guide, and I chose to go through this site because it would be with tour groups and would grant numerous opportunities to meet and talk to new people, rather than doing everything by myself. I wanted to fully immerse myself in the idea of being on a solo trip. I also took a gander on Tiktok to get ideas of places to eat at as it often is more personal than a quick Google search. Disclaimer: I am not super keen on Italian food, but I always try to remain open-minded as that is how we learn. Our opinions should always be open to being challenged. I keep getting myself side-tracked, you’re here for the travel story.

So let’s get into it. The airport travel was uneventful, it was just a simple trip through security. On the airplane, because I am cheap, I did not pay to pick a seat as it was just me. I was sitting between a couple, but they offered me the aisle or window so they could sit together. I saw what they were doing. That little trick where people will pick the aisle and window seat in the hopes that no one would choose the middle seat, but they were unprepared for a cheap man like me. Now fast forward to when I touched down in Naples. I am used to navigating foreign cities using public transport, so I just went to the hostel. Let me tell you guys, I am not going to sugarcoat it. That first night was harrowingly lonely. I arrived late and there was some sort of party going on in the main room. I looked around and everyone was having a great time or talking to someone. I was just too anxious to talk to anyone, so I just sat there and charged my phone whilst I scrolled through TikTok. I started to feel like I was going to regret the trip already. After a while, I just decided to go to bed as it was already late.

The next day was the first day of my planned itinerary. I checked out some of the catacombs as part of my paid tour groups and those were good fun. I strongly recommend checking out Naples Underground. However, I would avoid it if you are the claustrophobic type as there was a very tight squeeze of a passageway. As a bigger man, I was internally screaming when the tour guide gave us a pre-warning for that specific part of the route, but my pride willed me forward and thank goodness for that. What I saw down there was great. Naples has such a rich history and is a city built on top of a city. If you are a history/architecture buff, then Naples is a city for you. Getting back this time I got to interact with some people in my room and they were pretty nice. Whilst I can be a chatterbox, I usually wait for people to approach me first. I am not proactive with meeting new people. However, the more people I spoke to around the hostel, the easier it was to start conversations. It was a huge confidence boost as it felt like people did want to speak and spend time with me. I always felt like I was more of a slow-burn type of person, but I got the vibe that I was welcomed immediately and that was nice to have. There were several other solo travellers, and rarely was there a group of individuals travelling together. So, everyone seemed keen to get to know someone. Especially since the hostel had a DJ playing music every night I was there. 

As the days went on, I met more and more people in my room as well as around the hostel, and they were all lovely. Bumped into several Americans everywhere I went. I did a pizza cooking class which was fun and interactive. Shout out to my man Luca the chef. He was good fun and gave the history of the margarita pizza. Luca spoke about the importance of the quality of the ingredients and why a true Neapolitan pizza was unique. Doing this with a large group was quite nice as I did not want to isolate myself on this trip. I got a few suggestions for things to do in America from the people in this group. The pizza I made was also delicious and now I have the recipe to make at home and impress my friends, family or future dates. I think going forward, everywhere I go, if I have the time, I will take a cooking class and bring these recipes home with me. A sort of culinary trophy from my travels. I took a not-so-quick adventure around Castel Sant’Elmo, which I highly recommend. The view was INSANE. Honestly, standing at the top of the castle I had an emotional moment. It was the first time in a very long time that I was so happy to simply exist in that moment. I was so overwhelmed with joy that I had to fight back tears (I refuse to cry in public). Words could not describe the euphoria I felt to simply just be me. I had spent a lot of my life wishing to be someone else or have something that someone else had, but at that moment I didn’t want to be anyone but me. It dawned on me that I could freely travel to different countries and eat new foods and take in such breathtaking sights. That moment was a core memory and one that I still look back at. A rare moment where I didn’t feel broken or empty or sad, I just simply was me living rather than just being alive. 

My next day was a trip to Pompeii and Vesuvius. Pompeii was with another group and I enjoyed this day a lot. I love a bit of history and this trip was just ticking this box again and again. The tour included lunch and I was sat by the waiter with someone who was also doing the Vesuvius walk. We sat together on the ride up to Vesuvius and got to know each other pretty well. The ride up was great as the view was stunning. It was a long way up though as my ears popped once or twice and I started to take in just how high we were going. I cannot stress how beautiful the views were going up. There was just stretched-out greenery going on and on, blending into the city space on one side and the other there was the bluest sea. Now, guys, I did not mentally prepare for this walk. My good God. It did not cross my mind that this was an actual steep and tall volcano (that could be spotted pretty much from anywhere in Naples). I was humbled so so quickly that it HURT. The views were picturesque though, for about…five minutes. A fog rolled in and the view became obscured. However, my walking partner and I pushed on. It just kept getting steeper and steeper and just when things couldn’t get worse for me…it started to rain. I was not prepared for the rain. On top of that the wind started to pick up. We got close to the top but as the view was completely blocked by the fog and the weather was getting worse, we turned back. By the time I got to the bottom again, I looked like someone had dipped me into a pool. I was drenched. No regrets though. What an experience. 

After this, I returned to the hostel. Nearly everyone in my room was around, and after a brief (but heated) discussion of Percy Jackson vs Harry Potter (clearly Percy Jackson is better), my room and I all headed out to grab dinner at a place I enjoyed the night before (a place called Tandem). There were six of us in total and it was so refreshing having company and just swapping travel stories. Getting to know new people from all over the world was just fascinating and made the trip a little less lonely for an evening. I was very fortunate to have the people in my room being so friendly from the jump. One person in my room was also a Londoner. Again, as I met more people it made it easier and easier to talk and be open. 

My next day fortunately had much better weather which was ideal as I took a guided tour trip to Positano, Sorrento, and the Amalfi Coast. The views were just breathtaking. Photos do not do these areas justice. The sun truly illuminated and highlighted all the best features. At this point, I had gotten quite comfortable with talking to people, so whenever I needed a photo, I would offer to take theirs first and then ask if they could do the same. If there is one thing true about me on holiday, it is that I LOVE a photo shoot. This day was everything I needed. Got to sample some items from an Italian chocolate store (Nino & Friends). My love of pistachio was taken to a whole new level. The pistachio spread here had me almost elevating off the floor. Didn’t even ask for the price, I was like – you’re coming home with me. I highly recommend taking one of the boat tours around the Amalfi Coast. It felt like I was in a movie, and of course, I was the main character. 

My last day was stressful. I personally NEED to be at the airport early. It stresses me out too much otherwise. I booked a 2:30 pm flight and the hostel was about 35 mins away from the airport. So I thought I had plenty of time to get there. I woke up early to do a quick run-through of Castel Nuovo and checked out the artwork there (worth it by the way). I still had plenty of time. I must stress this. The original plan was to get there at 12:30. Google Maps told me a route that seemed straightforward enough, and Google Maps rarely steers me wrong. I headed off in the direction that I was told. I had just missed the train Google told me to get, but I thought it was no big deal because I left early. It wasn’t until I got off the train that I realised my connecting bus only comes once an hour. I knew waiting for that next bus would have been game over. I had to backtrack and I was in a state of pure stress. The transfer shuttle at the next station was full so I had to wait for the next one. The queue made me think I was not going to get the next one either, but I had some luck on my side and managed to get on. I was still panicking because it was going to be a tight squeeze timing-wise. For the first time in my life, I paid for fast-track security (7 euros). After I arrived at the airport, I made a beeline for check-in and dropped off my luggage. Security was an absolute breeze, and off I went power walking to my gate. Guys, I had made it with 20 minutes to spare before the gate closed. I made it, but barely. So yeah, note to self – review the whole journey that Google Maps gives me. 

There was a lot I learned on this solo trip. I learned that I can hold my own in conversations with strangers and that people do want to talk to me. I am approachable and I am interesting. Something I did doubt before this trip. I grew in confidence immensely as I knew it isn’t too hard to just make new friends and start conversations. For long portions of my life, I was filled with envy. I just didn’t want to be me. I wanted the friends someone else had. I wanted the job or the partner or the lifestyle and so forth. I just wanted to be anyone that wasn’t me. However, all the good food I ate, all the sights I saw, and all the things I learnt, made me so grateful just to be me. It reminded me of the privilege I have. I left the UK on a random Thursday and came back on a random Tuesday simply because I could. I was lucky to have the passport I had and the funds to allow me to just do all the plans I wanted. I had to rely on me and only me. If I wanted to do something or go somewhere, it was down to me to get it done. It reminded me that I am a capable individual who can make solid plans, but also be resourceful under pressure. I think I had forgotten that I have always done well under pressure and bounced back when things have gone wrong. This trip reassured me that whatever goes on, whatever setbacks I encounter, I am capable of swivelling and getting to where I need to (which may or may not be a metaphor).

Now my dear reader…

…this is where you come in. I believe that everyone should have a solo trip of some sort. Whether it is a simple weekend city break within the same country you live in or a trip abroad. Do it. If that sounds intimidating then start small. Try a meal alone. Try shopping alone, or the movies, or anything that you are used to doing with someone. I wasn’t always someone who could do these things alone, but life required me to eventually start doing things alone otherwise I would simply miss out. I don’t want any of you to miss out. Life is so much more than waiting for someone to come along and do something with you. You will learn so much about yourself, I promise. When it comes to travelling alone if you are not masculine presenting then safety concerns and priorities will be different. I, as a black man, felt safe at all times during my trip. I am sure a black woman or any woman might not have had the same experiences. On top of that, I am lucky to have the finances to renew my passport and pay for the holiday without any long-term financial detriment. So I say, if you feel safe travelling somewhere and have the finances and health then do it for yourself and see the world. Do it alone if you must, but do it. Life is short and there is so much to see, so many people to meet, and so much about yourself to still learn. 

Thank you dear reader for reading this far. I know I can go on a bit. However, if you think this is bad then try having a chat with me sometime.